IT HAS BEEN MANY YEARS SINCE THE MAINSTREAM HAS ENCOUNTERED " A SKULL FRIEND " , FOR IT HAS BEEN EVEN MORE YEARS SINCE THE " SKULL FRIENDS " WERE TAKEN BY " THE CONFISCATORS OF YITHA " , AND MORE STILL SINCE " SATHELOR'S CALLING " . HOWEVER , CONSIDER THYSELF BLESSED BY THE ACCURSED , FOR NOW SHALL THE WISDOM OF ONE OF THE FEW REMAINING " SKULL FRIENDS " BE REBESTOWED UPON HUMANITY, THAT WE MAY COLLECTIVELY CALL IN THE NEW AGE , THE " AGE OF RAUSME , THE OWL , AND OF THE ADORANTS OF HER LONESOME FLIGHT " .
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YOU LEAN CLOSE TO HEAR THE DRY , HOARSE WHISPER. . . .
" IS THERE LIFE ON OTHER PLANETS ? "
THE SKULL FRIEND REPLIES:
" THERE ARE MANY PLANETS WITH MANY FORMS OF LIFE . HOWEVER , YOU SHOULD CONSIDER YOURSELF LUCKY IF YOU NEVER SEE THEM WITH YOUR OWN EYES . "
" WHAT IS THE PURPOSE OF LIFE ? "
THE SKULL FRIEND REPLIES:
" THE PURPOSE OF LIFE IS TO FIND VARIOUS SHELLS OF DIFFERENT SIZES AND COLORS AND ARRANGE THEM INTO A FUN PATTERN . "
" HOW CAN I HIDE MY PET IN MY PET-FREE APARTMENT ? "
THE SKULL FRIEND REPLIES:
" IN TIMES OF THREAT TO OUR ALLIES , THE ONLY STANCE TO TAKE IS ONE OF OPEN DEFIANCE . "
" AM I WEIRD FOR LIKING THE TASTE OF STAMPS ? "
THE SKULL FRIEND REPLIES:
" I HAVE ANSWERED QUERIES FOR AEONS , AND JUDGING BY HOW OFTEN I HAVE ANSWERED THIS QUESTION, YOU ARE NOT . "
" IS IT ILLEGAL TO EAT ROADKILL ? "
THE SKULL FRIEND REPLIES:
" THERE ARE ACTUALLY NO LAWS ANYWHERE ABOUT EATING ROADKILL . "
" HOW DO I GET MY FRIENDS INTO MY FAVORITE BANDS ? "
THE SKULL FRIEND REPLIES:
" DO NOT ASK THEM . JUST PLAY THE MUSIC . IF THEY TRY TO LEAVE DENY THEM THE ABILITY . "
" I BROKE MY FAVORITE MUG. AM SAD ? "
THE SKULL FRIEND REPLIES:
" I AM SORRY ABOUT YOUR MUG. DO NOT FEEL SHAME ABOUT CARING FOR INANIMATE THINGS ; OUR ENVIRONMENTS ARE EXTENSIONS OF OURSELVES . "
" WHAT DO I DO ABOUT MY RENT ? "
THE SKULL FRIEND REPLIES:
" DO NOT PAY IT . WHAT ARE THEY GOING TO DO ? I DO NOT PAY RENT . "
" WHAT DOES YOUR GLOWING SYMBOL MEAN ? "
THE SKULL FRIEND REPLIES :
" IT IS THE SYMBOL OF SATHELOR , AN ANCIENT BEING OF INCREDIBLE KNOWLEDGE . THE EIGHT POINTS REPRESENT SATHELOR'S EIGHT MINDS . EACH MIND HAS EIGHT HEADS , AND EACH HEAD HAS EIGHT SKULLS . IT ALSO MEANS ANARCHO VEGANISM TOO I THINK . COINCIDENCE ."
" WERE ROSS AND RACHEL ON A BREAK ? "
THE SKULL FRIEND REPLIES:
" APOLOGIES . I AM MORE OF A SEINFELD TALISMAN . "
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